Today has been...OK.
That's all I can say. The above view is the Devil going in. The Devil has to be staggered with the saline because it is cardio-toxic--which is a really wicked word, especially when the rattlesnake goes in right above your heart.
And the saline-to-Devil ratio was pretty snug, so the last undiluted bit of red had to just plunge home, followed by a hand-flush of saline from the nurse's voluminous pocket. You can see N in the background. Not sure if you can read the tension in her boy language. Not sure if you can sense mine. I trust the nurses, and the nurse was only a little edgy.
But still...the whoops goes into the hole right above my heart, not theirs, right? That's why N and I were a bit tense.
And of course the cardio-irony is that the tension makes your heart go faster, which would hypothetically streak the too-dense dose that much faster to the ticker. So I am lying there doing all the actor-body tricks I can think of to keep an even breathing, an even heart rate.
All good. No problems. Devil in. Devil done.
And then...OK.
A little nausea, a little fatigue, some new muscle aches that came on quick but left just as fast. Thought the first one was a heart attack, of course, because it was along the upper left arm...but that's just silly.
I would roundly say it was good, and not just OK, except that the fear owns the future. The body forgets the bad so fast that I don't know if maybe it won't hit in my sleep, hit in the morning, hit at 11:24. So that Poe pendulum with the blade across the night stops it from being as peachy as it could.
But really, I am pretty pleased.
The secondary fears and worries--why do I feel good shouldn't it still be bad does that mean it isn't working did I get healthy too fast has it shrugged off the attempts to kill it where is it where is it hiding?--that's for another day, another set of questions to the Drs.
Another day.
Not Wednesday.
Wednesday is just about over. Good night.
