Not that I would eat a turtle. But a friend sent this from a recent trip, and it soothes.
Since Wednesday looms and I may slack off a bit I figured I would file something tonight.
I was going to call this my Michael Phelps list. Then I thought I would make a crack about being on less drugs than him. Then I realized...well, that's just silly.
So here is simply my super-great guaranteed diet plan for all ages and sizes:
1: Get Leukemia.
2: Get on 115 mgs Prednisone
3: Make sure Vinchristine is part of your chemo regimen
4: Using today as an example, eat like this every day:
-Diced peaches in sugar-water
-Raisin Bran
-Banana
-Cottage cheese
-Cherry Jello
-Milk
pause
-bag pretzels
pause
-Tuna Sandwich
-Vegetable soup
-Dinner roll
-Mashed potatoes
-Chocolate ice cream
-Milk
pause
-Steak Picado Fundido
-Rice and beans
pause
-Pork loin
-Brown rice
-Green beans
-Ginger ale
-Bit of cookie (N ate rest; pig)
pause
-Chicken fingers
-Applesauce
-Coca cola
-Banana Bread
pause
Calorie-supplement medical fruit drink (apple flavor)
pause
-Rice cake
5: Walk a mile every morning
6: Drink lots of fluids
7: Read Scandinavian mysteries as fast as you can.
And presto, you too can drop 20 pounds in 20 days!
Here comes the Ambien, and here comes Wednesday. Head high, thighs wasting, ready for anything. Onward.
