Happy Mother's Day to all mothers. I have a mother, a step-mother, a mother-in-law, have had some den mothers (poor harried women) and am currently being mothered by my wife.
And for the most part they all sort of think that Mother's day is an idiot's errand to make money for Hallmark: one of the reasons I am so fond of all of them.
My father was the same way: stupid holiday; nice to know you. That kind of thing.
So let us ignore the date for the moment, and the scads of money pouring into a company that for the most part sells something you buy because you forgot to do something true and real.
Let's just thank our mothers. Mine and yours and everyone's.
My mom has a son with cancer and a husband in recent remission: other than that, Mrs Lincoln, how did you like the play?
My mother-in-law has, on the spur of the moment caused by a state's wacky retirement schedule, sold one home and bought another drop-dead in the middle of this cancer scare, and kept her head on straight doing it.
Suffice to say I was somewhat less help in packing boxes than I usually am. Likely the first major move someone in or near my family has gone through that I had literally nothing to do with. My truck and I are bereft.
My step-mother was traveling to and from a family visit and so did not hear of my diagnosis until much later, and so was hit all the harder by the news.
My wife, with whom I have already raised one dog--and you know that counts--is, well, you've been reading, you know where the strength in this room is.
And they are just being. I've got friends with squalling new colicky babies still making me quiche.
Friends with a full-time job and two kids sneaking away from work to delver home-made pasta and make sure N knows how loved she is from all sides.
Friends with the second kids needing them coming in to town to hug N. Friends who haven't popped yet offering cord blood if I need a transplant.
There's a giving built into motherhood: all that loss and release and give that many have described better and before me. But it is there. Maybe men provide, but mothers give. Its not a huge difference, and there are vagaries. But the difference is there.
Happy mother's day, mom. This year, for a real present, I'll get better.
